i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize