Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
did i just pee glitter
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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