btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
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I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
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Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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