I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize