this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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