There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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