I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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