and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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