hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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