Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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