he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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