fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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