Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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