Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He kissed a someone with a penis
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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