Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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