I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize