the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
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