Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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