i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize