Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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