i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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