Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So many bounce houses so little time
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize