this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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