Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.

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  (410): apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual. http://tfl.nu/y4h7
  Replies (18) Good night (1320) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.

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  (630): just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description. http://tfl.nu/30ew
  Replies (13) Good night (443) Bad night (2344) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed

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  (732): i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed http://tfl.nu/l1mh
  Replies (17) Good night (967) Bad night (3397) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?

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  (443): do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick? http://tfl.nu/6riv
  Replies (46) Good night (3973) Bad night (1139) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  I've always been the spiritual type.

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  (702): When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion. (1-702): I've always been the spiritual type. http://tfl.nu/v0oc
  Replies (27) Good night (7495) Bad night (697)
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  (418): View more from Quebec

  I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.

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  (418): I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach. http://tfl.nu/7gys
  Replies (15) Good night (6659) Bad night (759) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  ...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.

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  (518): ...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified. http://tfl.nu/6dxz
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  (650): View more from California

  Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it

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  (650): Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it http://tfl.nu/zs3i
  Replies (8) Good night (2920) Bad night (988)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Cats found the secret coke stash again

  (519): View more from Ontario

  They owe us $80.

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  (519): Cats found the secret coke stash again (519): They owe us $80. http://tfl.nu/rzq5
  Replies (10) Good night (1902) Bad night (1260)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend

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  (216): every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend http://tfl.nu/09b0
  Replies (8) Good night (2030) Bad night (871) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.

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  (647): The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus. http://tfl.nu/lyxj
  Replies (6) Good night (464) Bad night (1395) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?

  (1-208): View more from Idaho

  Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.

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  (208): I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single? (1-208): Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well. http://tfl.nu/96dv
  Replies (10) Good night (1495) Bad night (332)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"

  (416): View more from Toronto

  He was THIS close.

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  (416): At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?" (416): He was THIS close. http://tfl.nu/s8nd
  Replies (12) Good night (1400) Bad night (700)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?

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  (870): Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk? http://tfl.nu/4pki
  Replies (9) Good night (503) Bad night (962) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Is that a sex thing?

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  (647): I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you (289): Is that a sex thing? http://tfl.nu/v8ys
  Replies (0) Good night (353) Bad night (208)

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