try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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