It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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