i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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