Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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