if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize