Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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