We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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