Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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