i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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