They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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