Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize