if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Two words: blizzard sex
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize