I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize