But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
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OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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