He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
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my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
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My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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