He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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