That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
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He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
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He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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