also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize