i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize