i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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