if you like me you must not know who I am
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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