i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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