My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize