oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize