Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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