Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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